Rissa Watkins

Spinning Yarns in the Desert

Confusion about the reactions to marriage equality…

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that the Supreme Court has ruled that same sex marriage is a right nationwide. I think it is a wonderful thing. I painted my nails in rainbow colors in celebration of it. (No! This post wasn’t just to show off my nails, geez how shallow do you think I am?)

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What I don’t understand is all the backlash. Not from those who didn’t support it because you expect them to be upset because they lost. But from others who weren’t opposing it, and are complaining about the celebrating. I’ve seen comments from several different people asking, “Why do you care? You’re not gay (not sure why they would assume they know my sexual orientation- just because I am married to a man). So why are you celebrating?” Or “We shouldn’t be celebrating because LGBT people are still being discriminated against.” Or  “Oh sure, everyone cares about this but what about…” (insert their cause/complaint).

Gonna break it down for you.

Why do I care if I am not gay?

There are several reasons. I have friends who can finally have their marriage recognized in all the states and friends who can finally get married. Why wouldn’t I want to celebrate their happiness? Yes, it doesn’t affect my life directly, but it does theirs. Just like if I celebrate your birthday- no, it isn’t my birthday and doesn’t affect me (except for the yummy birthday cake going straight to my belly), but I can still be happy for you.

Another reason is I believe this is a basic human right. Two people who love each other and want to make this commitment to each other, should be able to get married. Some may say this wasn’t my fight because I am not gay- but they’re wrong. I will stand up for my fellow humans because help is needed from everyone to stop injustice.

Not too long ago, my husband (black) would have been hanged for marrying me. I (Thai/Italian) might have been as well- or at least several punished. My mixed son could have suffered the same fate. When my dad (Italian) married my mom (Thai) several states said it was illegal. Until 1967, when the Supreme Court disagreed- despite the majority of adults at the time who were opposed to it. Almost half the country favored criminal punishments for interracial marriages as well.

I remember Dad telling me when he went to rent a hotel room in Nevada, they refused to do it. He had to leave my mom in the car and say he was alone to be able to rent a hotel room.

Love between two adults shouldn’t be illegal.

Why should we celebrate when LGBT people are still being discriminated against, when transgender people are still being attacked and killed every two days?

Because this is a victory. Every victory should be celebrated. It doesn’t mean the war is over. We can take the time to bask in the win as long as we don’t walk away from the fight. We’ve overcome this hurdle. The next will be to fight all the discrimination!

Everyone posts about this but doesn’t care about… the vets, puppies, starving children, murders (insert an atrocity here).

I don’t think there is a limit to what a person can care about. We can care about marriage equality, Caitlyn Jenner, our heroes who shouldn’t be forgotten, cancer and so on- all at the same time.

It reminds me of when people complain about having a cold or the flu and then tell me, I shouldn’t complain, it’s nothing like what you’ve been through.

Dude, this isn’t a contest. Yes, having leukemia sucks, but having a cold or the flu sucks too. It’s okay to talk about and be happy you are over your cold, even though someone else may have cancer. One does not take away from another. Much like, we can be happy and talk about marriage equality- yet it doesn’t take away from many other causes. Posting things like… People will post about marriage equality or Caitlyn Jenner but don’t care about our troops. Is equivalent to me saying on your post about stubbing your toe- “Oh sure, everyone is sorry you stubbed your toe, but what about me and my leukemia?”

I wish everyone would be kinder to each other. We should be less worried about monitoring what others are doing (exceptions for when it hurts another) and more concerned about what we are doing. Be nice my little ninjas!

P.S.

Please don’t be poor winners. Bashing another person’s belief is not cool. People are free to believe and think how they want- we do not have the right to force our beliefs on another.

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4 Comments

  1. Jami Nord

    <3 Love the nails, (SO CUTE! I never have the patience to do mine. They always just get chipped in a day or two and bother me until I take it off.) and YES! There's nothing wrong with celebrating good things, even though it's only one of many steps. Enjoy the happiness while it lasts, then sweep the glitter up and go, "OK! What next!? WE GOT THIS!" 😉

    Reply
    1. Rissa (Post author)

      Thank you! It is amazing to see such major changes in our lifetimes.

      Reply
  2. E.J. Smith

    Fantastic article! You’re absolutely right, the fight isn’t over. There’s still more work to be done. But what’s the point of the work, if you don’t stop to celebrate and revel in the victories you’ve worked so hard for along the way?! Your post reminded me a lot of Ash Beckham’s Ted Talk (the first one). If you haven’t watched it, you might give it a look.

    Reply
    1. Rissa (Post author)

      Thank you! I will go check out Ted Talk.

      Reply

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