We had to go to the store and also pick up dinner last night. As I was heading for the door, my husband asked, “Are you going like that?” I looked down at my bummy shorts and bra-less, t-shirt covered chest and said, “Yeah.”
Now before anyone thinks he was criticizing me- he wasn’t. He couldn’t care less how I dress. But he knows me well enough to know that sometimes I forget what I am wearing and then later look down and realize and blame him for not saying anything. Yes, I have left the house without shoes, in my PJs, and once just once- without pants. Luckily, I realized when I put my seat belt on.
As we were driving, I remembered we had to go to the library and get a book for my son for school. I was horrified. I wasn’t dressed decent enough for the library!
My husband thought it was funny that I had no qualms going to a restaurant to get take-out, going to a grocery store, and the bank- but freaked about going to the library.
I can’t even explain why. It isn’t that I worry about being judged by the people there. I don’t need approval about my appearance. (isn’t being over 40 the best?!) It just seemed indecent to the library itself. Kinda like if I had gone to church dressed that way.
The library was always my favorite place to go. Anytime I moved to a new place, it was one of the first places I found. It was home no matter what state or even what country I had moved. Even the military bases had them. I never felt that way about book stores. Probably because I couldn’t afford to buy as many books as I read.
It made me sad to realize that, aside from quick pick ups for my son, I hadn’t been back for so long- since before I got sick. I can’t read regular books now because I have trouble holding them and seeing them. I have to read e-books so I can adjust the size of fonts, and even if my hands cramp up or get sore, I can just tap to turn a page.
Though I can only glance at the books longingly now, the library will always be my first love.